Most matchmakers insist on a two-drink maximum for a reason. “You can only make a first impression once,” says NYC matchmaker and cofounder of [http://www.projectsoulmate.com]Project Soulmate, Lori Zaslow. “You don’t want to cloud your judgement, reveal too much about yourself on the first date, or make a bad decision and move too fast,” Zaslow says.
While there are some exceptions, such as when one person makes an obvious joke and the other joins in, “Talking about your future with the person is a surefire way to scare them off,” says Zaslow. Avoid too much serious talk about marriage, kids, and commitment and simply use the first date to get to know one another.
“If you ask too many questions before the date, you may run out of small talk,” explains Zaslow. Likewise, avoid too many follow-up texts after the first date, and give him or her just enough breathing room to get excited to see you again.
4. You were rude.
“Sometimes people aren’t friendly to the coat check attendant, waiters, bus boys, or the Uber driver,” explains NYC matchmaker [www.janisspindelmatchmaker.com]Carly Spindel. That won’t go unnoticed by your date. “If you’re the tiniest bit disrespectful to anyone, your date might not want to want to see you again,” Spindel says. So on a date (as in life!) treat everyone with respect.
5. You didn’t have a stimulating conversation.
Do you tend to be overly polite and stick to safe topics? Spindel says you need to show your smart, inquisitive side, too. If the conversation leaves your date feeling bored, “Your chance of being asked out again is slim to none,” says Spindel. Come out of your shell a bit and steer the conversation to things you feel passionate and knowledgeable about.
6. You rambled on a lot.
Many people tend to fear the “awkward silence” so much that they blabber on endlessly to fill the void. Spindel says that’s a no-no. “You want to talk, but also make sure you can pause to take a breath,” Spindel says. In other words, remember not to fill the conversation with a lot of “fluff” and ask questions about your date to get to know him or her, too.
7. You got too political.
“Nothing is more controversial right now than politics,” says Zaslow. “Keep the heated discussions to a minimum on the first few dates. You don’t want to judge someone based off of who they voted for before you get to know them as a person.”